Farm Lyfe

Farm life of the not really farmers. Several people have said to me over the years, ‘you grew up on a farm right?’ No, not exactly. I grew up in and around farms and may be able to fool the city slickers into thinking I am a farm girl, but let’s be serious I don’t know what I’m doing. The real farmers would put me to shame.

I do know the difference between hay and straw, but if you ask me to help unload a wagon of bails into a haymow, I will show up in shorts and a tank as I’m more concerned about working on my tan more than anything else. Amy is equally as guilty. Our delicate, unworked arms are bleeding one row in. Anyone that has ever done this task knows you will soon regret this choice of attire. I have also participated in rock picking in the fields several times, but to this day I have no idea what size I’m supposed to pick up, so I pick em’ all up. Then the real farmers remind me, ‘Kate you don’t need to pick that up it’s too small’. Well shit I’m just over here working on my tan and getting jacked while I do it. I will put these little pebbles in my garden, don’t worry.

Okay, so if you have read “Growing up with the County Cow F*cker” you know what my Dad does for a living. (And if you haven’t read it, go now!). He did not grow up a farmer but found a passion for agriculture somewhere down the line, and this is all I’ve ever known my dad to do. My Mom was the one that actually grew up on a farm. It’s been really cool to see the farming lifestyle stay in the family. I remember going to visit Grandma and Grandpas on Douglas Line and watching the cows out the front window at the house. When my Mom was growing up it was a dairy farm, but since I’ve been alive the farm has only been beef cattle. And to this day beef cattle are still raised on the farm. But things have changed a bit... Cousin Dan is now living on the homestead and between Uncle Brian, and Cousins Dan and Kevin, they’ve fully taken over farming in the Smith family. Yes, one of many Smith families around. Fun fact: My Grandma’s maiden name was Smith also.

Dairy vs Beef….see this is one of those conversations I can bullshit a city slicker into thinking I know a thing or two about farming. If the names don’t speak for themselves, Dairy are the cows we get our milk products from and Beef are the cows we get our meat products from. White milk comes from Holsteins, the black and white ones, and chocolate milk comes from Jersey cows, the brown ones. And a limousine isn’t just a fancy long car you take an overpriced ride in, it’s also a type of beef cattle. Yes, there are types. Don’t ask me to elaborate, this is where the bullshit starts running thin.

We did grow up having a few cattle in the backyard on our two acre ‘ranch’ that was a ranch by definition of the style of house not farm. Now, Dad breeds, raises, and even sells racehorses. And let me tell you, they are an absolute beast of an animal. Dad had one on a halter and asked me to do something with it (I don’t even remember what) but a whole 3 seconds in she headbutted me...and I got the hell out of there! Dad doesn’t ask me to do that anymore. I prefer tame animals, and some of these horses are far from that. Though, I am sure Dad would disagree! OKAY, but the babies... or foals should I say? There are three new babes, one filly (this is a female) and two colts (boys) on the farm, they are my kinda size! Smaller than me, so they don’t scare me...yet. But don’t you dare cross a protective mare. This is your warning. We’ve been calling the new babes Roxie, Eddy and Wendel but that may change. And not only might their names change around the farm but it will also be different on their ‘birth certificate’. Have you ever been to Hiawatha? Ever bet on the horse with the COOLEST name? Yup, same. No pressure to Brad Wilson, but he has to come up with catchy names for all of these cutie prospect athletes.

Moral of the story, Amy and I do not consider ourselves farmers. But we can make ourselves useful on a farm and sometimes talk the talk. That’s a big ‘sometimes’. If you are not much of the farm type I hope you have learned something here. And if you are the farm type please educate us!

-Kate