I’m not here to tell you how to handle your finances, but I am here to throw the idea out there that we should start talking about our finances. Why? Because we learn through conversations. And Amy and I were lucky enough to be raised by a very intelligent accountant that taught us to save from a young age. I can remember getting a $2 allowance every week and we had to stash at least half of it in our piggy bank for savings. Do kids still get allowances these days? This is a real question.
Now, growing up we may have talked about saving our money, but we never talked about how much mortgage payments were, the price people bought their houses for, how much they make a year, and of course TAXES. These were very taboo conversations...or so we were led to believe. But in my adult life, these are some of the most informative talks I have had with close friends and family. So yes, I do have these conversations now, and I am thankful for these conversations. They help me grow; they help me challenge myself and most importantly, they have opened my eyes to opportunities and information that I probably would not have EVER known about. I do know there are people around me that still do not have these chats... I can’t quite decide if this is a generational thing, or is it just MY family in particular?
Chatting about your personal salary may seem absolutely NUTS to some but learning what my peers earn for similar roles or jobs in the same organization has helped me learn my worth. Discussing the housing market with friends and what we bought our houses for has put into perspective what my house might be worth, what I might be able to afford AND various lending options that I never even knew existed! They certainly did not teach me this stuff in school. So, my friends have been the best teachers (including a sister that recently became a real estate agent). So when I ask what you make or what you sold your house for, or where you invest your money...please know that I am not asking to be nosy or malicious. I ask because I am trying to learn. My mentality is to always try and better myself. And this means asking a LOT of questions in order to learn, grow and push myself. Talking about finances is a powerful conversation to be had with those closest in your life. With that being said… I really do believe that it is not about how much you make; it’s about what you do with it. I am confident that I would not be in my situation now if I had not had these conversations and the support of friends (and family).
We all know the saying ‘Money can’t buy happiness.' But do you agree with it? I don’t! At a certain point yes money can’t buy you any more happiness. But what about those single parents struggling to get by living paycheck to paycheck? Or the young couple where one got sick and medical bills are stacking up? Or how about your average 30-year-old girl with no kids but still has bills to pay like her mortgage and gas? This is another conversation I have had with friends and I absolutely believe money CAN buy happiness. Because living paycheck to paycheck can be very stressful.
These conversations give us the chance to not only learn from our own experiences but from the experiences and mistakes of others too. If I use the first lender that gives me a mortgage rate and I find out later I could have got a better deal, I want to share this with my friends buying a house so they don’t make the same mistake. Dealing with a breakup and one buying out the other (of the house) could be a messy situation, but it doesn’t have to be. I can honestly say that I have had a positive experience doing exactly this and I have been happy to share details with those that ask- because let’s be serious, people break up and it is not something you can pick up a book and read a step-by-step guide to steer you through the process.
I am an open book (about most things in life, really) and thank you to my friends that have also been an open book. You have taught me so much! This is my opinion on talking about finances and if you don’t agree, I can respect that. But I will find someone else to have the conversation with.
Do you have these conversations? Do your parents have these conversations? What about your parents’ parents? I am so curious!
